I AM LEARNING TO WAIT

Hello friends, warm greetings

“Someday everything will make perfect sense

Smile through the tears and keep reminding

Yourself that everything happens for a reason”

thanx to www.easyvectors.com for the above picture

Waiting is a necessary life skill that everyone needs to learn.  We have to display this skill in different events in our life; at home we need to wait for the dinner to be ready or wait for our turn to watch our favorite TV program. Outside home I mean in the community we need to generalize the learnt waiting skills in various situations; in the restaurant we need to wait for the order food to come to our table  and need to wait in the line to pay grocessary bill( now a day’s expect this bill all the other bills are paid in online). For children with autism learning to wait is extremely challenging task, I have experienced children rolling on the floor, screaming, trying to attack, throwing things nearby whenever they are delayed  with their desired object. Most of the time it’s hard for them to understand the concept of wait and for some children they just can’t wait though they get the concept. The Delayed gratification leads in to frustration and the child end up throwing a big tantrum. Wait more, not now but later, after you done are tuff words to take it for children with amazing autism.  As we clearly know this skill needs great focus and consistent approach from our side or whoever working with the child. The approach and strategies to teach the concept of wait differs from child to child. I am happy to mention some of the techniques which works best to bring out concrete change in children with autism and other related disabilities.

·   Show your child  the symbol of wait or Icon  whenever he is needed to wait by placing right hand over the left hand preferably palm facing down

·   If your child in picture level show him/her the picture of the child sitting with quiet hands and say wait

·   Use timer for understand the waiting time by saying waiting time on, timer with auditory signal does great job here. As soon as timer rings give him the requested item immediately by saying that was a good wait

·   Initially start by having your child wait for very short periods of time by setting the timer for short duration

·  Always provide with positive praise with the desired item though the child responded to the request with resistance by saying you tried waiting, good job

·   You can ask your child count numbers up to 10 or you counting during wait time, slowly you can increase wait time by giving long pause between numbers like1….2……3….

·   Ask children to complete a simple puzzle or ask them to place pegs in the peg board during wait time by saying first do this then that. The child shows great deal of resistance; initially give physical prompt to complete the task. Select activities which he finishes in very short time/ duration

·  If the child tries to grab the desired item or tend to attack you during wait time, simply say quiet hands and show him/her the symbol of wait.  One of my student attacks whenever there is delay in getting desired item, we tell him hands in the pocket!!! Once we finished counting ten his hands are off from the pocket and he gets item with positive praise. It worked

·   Always Place the desired item in the same place preferably not in child’s reaching level but he could clearly see it, this helps him to understand whenever the item is placed there he needs to wait, this gives him visual cue  or contextual cue and facilitates better learning

·   In the beginning you can expect lot of protest from your child when he denied access to his favorite activity or item, as the child understands the process there is a visible change in intensity of protest as well as increased patience

·   Always remember the wait time has to be highly reinforcing and motivating to the child, by saying you are a good waiter, I see you waiting that makes me happy or its pleasure to see you waiting etc

·   Write a social story about wait for understanding the consequences of learning this skill and to make him understand the projection of others feelings

·  Allow your child access to preferred item for a small increment of time, then stop access to the item

·   As your child learnt to wait for short periods gradually increase the time of wait

·  Never use no if your child request for desired item instead practice to say you have to wait, this is waiting time etc. The word no triggers tantrum always approach in a positive way

·  Maintain very calm voice and don’t show irritation or anger in your face if your child bothers you during wait time

·  Create a natural opportunity for your child to learn the skill of waiting as well as generalize the learnt skill

There is lot of work involved from your side while your child learns to achieve this life skill. The whole procedure sounds very easy to implement, but not that easy as it sounds. You (parents of autistic children, therapists) come across hard times while your children acquire this skill, but all I could tell you is never give up!!! Children with autism may not be able to tell you how much they love learning from you and your presence but I am sure they appreciate all you do. You are amazing

Take care